I hate myself. I am so lonely and unhappy and I can't do anything right. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

Face

I felt ugly and manic today so I bought $100 worth of stuff for my face. I want to look like an adult and not a zitty teenager. I instantly felt guilty that I spent so much and just earlier this year I was only using olive oil on my face. However, I believe that screwed up the oil balance of my face.  So now I'm trying to get it back together and look more grown up. I want to appear that I have myself together. I have never liked the condition of my face. I wish I could. I want to feel pretty.

Positive

Positive things in my life.
1. My apartment is paid for until December
2. I have food to eat
3. I have money to live
4. I am in college
5. I have the desire to be sober
6. I haven't smoked in 20 days
7. My apartment is nicely furnished
8. I have a bed
9. I'm relatively healthy
10. I own a computer